When I stumbled upon this quote about how one pictured their life I throught instantly that it fits me perfectly. A year ago my husband was fighting cancer, he was receiving chemo. We assumed it was working but it wasn’t. A year ago I would’ve never pictured my life the way it is now.
Change Equals Growth was a motto that Ron adapted as he was fighting cancer. The disease changed him; it also changed me…as did his passing. A year ago the possibility of Ron dying had me terrified. I didn’t know how I would manage things. Then December 7th arrived, Ron passed, and I had to manage things. Much of what I have handled in the past six (almost seven) months are things I had never dealt with in my life. I know I am not doing them the same way Ron would have, but I am doing them my way, and that is the way it should be.
Ron handled everything financial — bills, loans, investments, taxes, insurance, and real estate. He handled all the yard work, house maintenance, and vehicle maintenance. Those are important things that I suddenly had to juggle and am still in the learning process with some of them. I was forced to change, to learn to tackle numerous things while under the emotional stress of my husband’s death. Change equals growth, and through this process I have grown.
I have applied and received a mortgage modification, learned to pay bills, met with our financial advisor, gathered tax information for our CPA, handled an IRS audit, closed our joint account and opened my own account for handling of stocks. I have contacted numerous accounts and had things such as cell phone, internet, cable, vehicle insurance, utilities, and vehicle loans changed into my name. I have handled contacting service people such as a plumber for a leaky toilet, car maintenance, and the hot tub store for an uncompleted repair that began when Ron was alive. I will be calling to have someone out to repair my air conditioning that stopped working. I have learned to run the riding lawnmower, how to put gas into it and how to use a jumper box to jump it if necessary. I discovered our weed wacker was too heavy and difficult for me to start and operate, so I selected and ordered one that was more suited to my abilities. I have listed property and vehicles for sale. I have made decisions on how to juggle money and make payments on time. I have grown throughout this process.
I have gained confidence in my abilities to handle things I never considered myself capable of in the past. I have learned that what doesn’t get done today can be tackled tomorrow, that I can’t accomplish everything in the time frame I would like to and that is okay.
A year ago I would have never pictured my life the way it is now. Change equals growth. I have changed, I will continue to change. I will continue to grow. Everything happens for a reason. I look forward to whatever good things life throws at me, because I can and will tackle them.