Tag Archives: age

Freedom on the Horizon

For the past six years my son, Patrick, has called me every week, sometimes more than once a week, and each time we engage in a 15 minute conversation.  He always calls me.  I am not allowed to call him back.  We try to exchange as much information as possible in those weekly conversations.  Things that need to be handled, questions, and some general fun information on what is going on in each other’s life.

This past week Patrick called me in the middle of the day while I was at work.  It was a very special call and he was bursting with good news.  He finally received notice on the outcome of his parole hearing, which I talked about in All We Can Do Is Wait.  He is being paroled!  On March 20, 2018 I will be picking Patrick up from the prison and driving him home.

He will be on a two-year parole and is being released on a tether.  It is a six-hour drive home and Patrick will need to report to his parole agent here in our county that same day.   He will need to get a driver’s license.  The majority of his clothes will not fit as he has gotten taller and broader in the past six years.  Patrick was twenty-four when he went in, and will be thirty when he comes out.

Patrick and Grace taken during prison visit October 30, 2017

Patrick and Grace, October 30, 2017

It is exciting to have Patrick coming home.  In the time he was incarcerated he lost two daughters (my granddaughters) to foster care/adoption.  He also missed the funeral/memorial services of one grandmother, two grandfathers, and his father (my husband).  In addition to a general loss of freedom, those who are incarcerated can lose much on a personal/emotional scale as well.

We are both looking forward to the day of Patrick’s parole with excitement, but I think also a bit of trepidation.   Neither of us are the same people we were when he was arrested all those years ago.  There will be an adjustment period as he will be living with me initially while he gets his feet under him.  My home will need to meet the requirements of his parole.   He is used to living under the constant scrutiny and control of a prison and will now have the ability to enjoy freedom within the confines of his parole requirements.    He is used to living with all men.  I am used to living alone.  It will definitely be an adjustment.

The countdown has begun.  Seventy-seven days to go, but who is counting.  Freedom is on the horizon.

 

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Filed under anniversary, celebration, communication, Coping, decisions, Family, habit, home, impressions, Life Changing, Life is a Melting Pot, parents, reality, time

I’m over the hill and rolling down

Today (September 23, 2016) was my 56th Birthday.  It occurred to me the other day that as of this birthday I am no longer just in my mid-50’s, I am now pushing 60.  Isn’t it funny how the mind perceives certain things and twists them in your brain.  Seriously, am I now at 56 different than I was at 55?  I tend to say that I refuse to get old, and that age is a matter of staying active and thinking young, so why does the number give me a negative feeling?

Maybe it is because I became a widow at age 55.  I never expected that to happen.  My husband was only 64 when he passed.  I didn’t expect to become a widow until I was in my 80’s, yet here I am in the situation about 30 years earlier than anticipated.

EPSON MFP image

EPSON MFP image

I recently found my first gray hair.  I thought I had something stuck in my hair and tried to pull it out, only to discover it was attached!  Then I saw two more on the other side of my face.  I thought about pulling all of them out, but then realized if I did that every time I saw a gray hair I would eventually render myself bald.  I must accept that I am now going gray, hopefully at a very slow pace.

Perhaps it is because my eyes tend to get dry now.  I am frequently switching out of my contacts and into glasses because my eyes become dry and irritated.  I had always assumed  I would continue wearing my contacts 18 hours a day well into my 70s or 80s.  Obviously that is not going according to plan, to the extent that I am contemplating getting a second set of glasses rather than contacts the next time around.  img_0561-1

It could be that my obstructed mobility due to needing an ankle fusion is making me feel ancient.  I do have the ankle fusion scheduled in November and hopefully will have a quick and easy recovery followed by better mobility.

Because of the painful condition of my ankle I have not accomplished as much as I had hoped since my husband’s passing.  The ankle simply can’t handle the extended time   to do yard work, cleaning the basement and miscellaneous other activities that require me to be on my feet.

img_1177So, now that I am over the hill and rolling down it toward 60 I need to keep a positive focus and concentrate on fully utilizing the young gene.  My hair can turn gray…there are people that purposely put grey in their hair for accent.  I can gradually switch over to glasses if needed, after all young people wear fun and trendy glasses all the time.  I will regain mobility after my ankle fusion and should be back to normal by late next spring.  Most importantly, I refuse to grow old.  Old is a state of mind, and my mind is not going there.

 

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Filed under career, Coping, decisions, Discoveries, environmental, habit, impressions, Life Changing, Life is a Melting Pot, memoir

Become Friends with People Who Aren’t Like You

Become friends with people who aren't your age, language, etcI stumbled across this saying this week and I think it holds a lot of good advise.  I have done all the things listed in the photo.  If you haven’t, then you don’t know what you are missing.

Being friends with people who are of a different age group than you has benefits.  Those who are older have knowledge to share, have lived through portions of history that took place before you were born, and have grown up without many of the everyday conveniences you now take for granted.

Friends who are younger are refreshing and vibrant.  They have a different viewpoint on life because they have grown up in a technology and computer based world.    Their life experiences are different.  Their expectations for what they can get out of life and career are broader based.  You have lived through portions of history that took place before they were born.

I have a friend who grew up in India and came to America when she got married.  She had an arranged marriage and had only met her husband 2-3 times before they were wed.  She learned to speak English after coming to this country.  We spent seventeen years working together.  We discussed everything from culture, marriage, religion, children, and mourning/funeral practices.  When you become friends with someone whose first language and culture is different then yours it can be a very rewarding experience from which you both grow from the knowledge acquired in the sharing of information.

Getting to know someone who is not from your same social class is probably the most intimidating and most difficult of all of the contacts listed.  However it opens you eyes to the way other people live and can broaden your understanding of what those people cope with on a daily basis.  Someone who comes from a higher social class than yours can make you feel intimidated, uncomfortable, and possibly lacking in the fine, cultural knowledge that frequently accompanies such status.  On the other hand, someone who comes from a lower social class than yours may also make you uncomfortable.  You may be shocked at the condition of their clothing, furniture, housing, where they shop for clothes, or any other multitude of things.  Whether dealing with someone of a higher or lower social class it is important to remember, we are all people, and just because someone is different, doesn’t mean they lack value, compassion, or understanding.

It is easy to make assumptions about people who are different than us.  Destroying those assumptions and converting them into friendly contacts is beneficial for all.  That is the basis of achieving peace.  Whether the friendships you develop are based strictly on work relationships, club relationships or friendships that grow and develop beyond those areas, they are still valuable resources for stepping outside of your comfort zone and experiencing something different, which is always enlightening.

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Filed under assumptions, communication, friends