Tag Archives: driving

Do I like it or not?

We are having our first snowfall of the year…well not really.  We had a few flurries in the air a couple times earlier this year, but nothing that stuck and it has been unseasonably warm until now.  We are getting dumped on.

The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event. you go to bed in one kind of a world and wake up in another quite different, and if this is not enchantment then where is it to be found? J. B. Priestley

The First Fall of Snow

So with the snow falling and sticking to the roads and people nervous as they always are on the first bad roads of the season, we had to make a 40-mile round trip to pick up my daughter from work due to her car being in for service.  What are my thoughts?

  • People constantly refer to how bad the roads are
  • Some people are very nervous and drive extremely slow
  • Some people are idiots and drive a maniac speeds
  • My car appears to automatically turn of Max Defrost when it is turned off, so auto-start doesn’t give you the max benefit when used.
  • Heated car seats are the best
  • If you forgo using the brush for mittens because the snow is fluffy, you will regret it later when your mittens are wet and fingers feel cold.
  • Freshly fallen snow on bushes and trees with Christmas lights on them is pretty.
  • There is something about snow that puts you in the Christmas mood
  • Yikes!  Only 12 days until Christmas and I’m not decorated and have more shopping to do.
  • Who am I kidding, I wish I were somewhere on a beach, somewhere tropical, not in the midst of a snow storm.

So, I assembled my Christmas tree last night, and I should have put the lights on tonight but it still remains naked.  I’ll tackle that project tomorrow night.  For tonight, I’m going to crash.

If you are in the midst of a snowstorm, stay warm.
If you are somewhere tropical, I wish we could trade places.

 

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Filed under celebration, Discoveries, events, exploration, habit, home, kids, Life is a Melting Pot, memoir, nature, reality, Weather, winter

Up and Back in a Day

This past Saturday was emotional, enlightening, fun, and exhausting all rolled into one.  A couple weeks ago I wrote about my cousin losing her husband after a lengthy battle with cancer in Feeling Their Pain.  The funeral was set and I debated for a week whether or not to go.  I wanted to go, but I have a lot going on and I was juggling the loss of an entire Saturday to travel and attend v. being able to get things accomplished around home.  I didn’t want to later regret not going so I went.

It was a beautiful fall Saturday in Michigan.  The visitation was scheduled for 10:00 am, funeral for 11:00.  I set my alarm for 4:00 am and was on the road at 5:15 am for the four hour drive.  I watched the sunrise through the passenger side of my vehicle as I traveled north on I-75.   A quick fifteen minute stop in West Branch gave me the opportunity to re-fuel the vehicle and myself by way of coffee and pumpkin donuts.  I was in Traverse City at 9:30 am.  death

The funeral was held at the Reynolds Jonkoff Funeral Home in Traverse City, the same place my Grandmother’s funeral was held years ago.  A beautiful, historical home that lends itself to comfort for memorial services.  Photo boards and memorabilia of Charlie’s life were on display, and a slide show of photos played on the screen.  Always smiling, always clowning around and being silly, that was Charlie.

I was greeted by family I rarely see and met some I have never seen.  It is hard to maintain contact with extended family when we all live so far apart.  Facebook is a blessing in that regard for helping people to stay in touch.  Charlie’s widow, Michelle, and I had not seen each other since we were children, but we recognized each other immediately.    It had only been six days since Charlie passed and Michelle was struggling emotionally.  We held each other and cried together, Michelle because the pain was new, me because I was reliving the pain through the memories this setting brought on.  I left her a card in which I enclosed the poem I read at my husband Ron’s burial, If Tomorrow Starts Without Me (see below).

During the ceremony the Obituary of Charlie Jokinen was read.  Charlie grew up in grew up in Bobcaygeon, Ontario and the stories shared by his best friend from childhood were filled with humor; good memories of a wonderful person in his youth.   Michelle’s daughter, Nicole, talked about what a wonderful, accepting person Charlie was when he came into their lives, and how despite his struggles with cancer always attended her sporting events, concerts, and other activities of youth.  I learned that Charlie and my husband, Ron, were very much alike.  Both loved photography, being active, loved life and family, and were always smiling.   It was a wonderful testimonial to a life well lived and a person well liked and loved by all.

Following the ceremony was the procession to the Memorial Gardens where Charlie was laid to rest beside my Uncle Lee and Aunt Jesse Hilts, who were laid to rest beside my maternal grandparents, Ralph and Grace Hilts.  They are all located not far from the graves of my paternal grandparents, uncle and parents.  After a short grave side service during which Michelle lowered Charlie’s ashes into the ground, we proceeded to the Grawn Baptist Church for a luncheon and fellowship with family members and friends.

About 2:30 I hugged Michelle goodbye before getting on the road.  We promised to stay in touch and get together for a weekend.   We now have a common bond not shared by our siblings or other cousins.  I did manage to accidentally announce my departure rather loudly.  As I was walking across the lot to my car I somehow managed to activate my car alarm.  Nothing like a bright red car with the horn blasting and lights flashing to signal the end of a memorial luncheon.  I glanced around, thought I was safe from anyone having witnesses my blunder and got into my car.  Then a grey pickup pulled in next to me, it was my cousin, Iva, and her husband Milt.  I rolled down the window and Milt congratulated me on adding a bit of humor to the end of the day.

I took the more scenic, leisurely route across the state on my way home.  This served two purposes.  It allowed me to enjoy the beautiful northern fall scenery with an occasional stop to take photographs, and the climbing in and out of the car into the cool air helped to keep me awake as I drove.

It was not until I got on US-10, an expressway, that the length of the day made me drowsy.  I know that if I keep busy it helps me to stay awake and the singing and dancing in the car while driving wasn’t doing the trick.   I finally made a stop and picked up a highly nutritious snack at Speedway gas station of a spiced pumpkin cappuccino and a small bag of crunchy Cheetos.  I know, individually they sound yummy but as a combo it sounds horrid.  Remarkably it wasn’t, so go ahead and give it a try sometimes.  It did work in keeping me awake as I stretched that bag of Cheetos all the way to I-69, which marked only an hour more to go on my route.

I arrived home around 7:00 pm.  A tiring day but I am glad I went.  It was good for Michelle to have me there.  It was good for me to be there.

funeral-whentomorrowstartswithoutmepoem

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Filed under cancer, celebration, Coping, death, Family, Illness, Life is a Melting Pot, marriage, memoir, travel

Slippery Surgical Stress

Why is it we have had great weather until the day we have to leave home at 4 am to drive over an hour away for my husband, Ron’s, surgery? As if the day wasn’t going to be tiring enough, that was the way it started.

We were told that he would need to be at the hospital at 5:30 am for a 7:30 am surgery. Ron is a morning person, so although I thought we should get a hotel for the night before the surgery, he didn’t think it was a problem getting up at 3 am to be on the road by 4 am for the drive to the hospital. I told him if we were driving at that hour of the morning, he was driving.

Of all weeks for the weather to turn bitter cold and some spots on the roads were definitely slippery. Ron is retired and spends a lot of time driving to various locations to take photographs. I work full time and have only a three minute commute to get to work. Although we used to live in a more populated area, I am no longer used to the heavy traffic driving bumper-to-bumper.

Ron’s surgery was scheduled at University of Michigan Hospital in Ann Arbor. The drive requires traveling on expressways that tend to be very busy. What I couldn’t believe is how many cars are on the expressways at 4:30 am! What the heck time of day do these people start working? Combine that with it being dark outside, the roads slightly slippery at points, and Ron going only 60mph but still passing everyone on the road, I was tense.

I’ve ridden with Ron for 34 years in all kinds of weather.  He does not loose control of the vehicle, but I guess the days of feeling invincible have given way to the fear of what could happen.  It probably didn’t help that prior to getting on the expressway he slid through a stop sign on our cut across, which is a dirt road, to the expressway.  My words when that happened were “don’t go in the ditch on the way to the hospital.”   Then on the expressway as we are passing other vehicles I would periodically ask if it was slippery and he would respond “it’s getting that way.”  Obviously, I just felt the sway of the wheels a bit on the road!   I used to drive fast on the roads when I had a 4 x 4, but we were traveling in a Ford Focus.

Ron did not have any problems maintaining control of the vehicle.  It was the other vehicles that were making me tense.  There were a couple times when a car decided at the last minute to move over in front of us and was driving considerably slower than we were, requiring Ron to break firmly.  A couple times cars weren’t lane changing but for whatever reason decided they needed part of our lane and moved over at us.  We had a semi we were passing that was very close to us on the passenger side, too close for my comfort.   My downfall was I wasn’t chewing gum, which was probably a blessing for Ron.  When I am tense and chew gum I tend to chew in a way that causes the gum to repeatedly crack.  Probably because I wasn’t chewing gum my jaw was hurting because I had apparently been clenching my teeth.  I also had to repeatedly concentrate on relaxing my shoulders and legs, as they would get sore from tension.

View showing esophagectomy procedure in three steps.

View showing esophagectomy procedure in three steps.

We were only 15 minutes late arriving at the surgical center.  If you have ever been to U of M Medical Center you know it is huge.  I have a map in my purse of the buildings so I know the route from where the car is parked to where Ron’s hospital room is.  His surgery went well.  He had a transhiatal esophagectomy in which they removed his esophagus and raised his stomach up and attached it where the esophagus once was, so his stomach now starts in his chest and is like a long tunnel down to his intestines.  He was predicted for a 4-6 hour surgery and was in 5-1/2 hours.  The surgery was on Tuesday and he is doing very well.  The medical staff are very pleased with his progress.  The normal stay after this procedure is seven days, but release is dependent on certain milestones being met.

Needless to say it has been an exhausting week.  I had the hospital make hotel arrangements for me the night of the surgery, and I was very glad I did.  By the time he got through recovery and into a room it was around 4:30-5:00 pm.  I didn’t leave the hospital until 8 pm.  When you have been up since 3 am and at the hospital since 5:45 am, it is a long day, and I still hadn’t had dinner.  It was 10 pm before I was settled into my hotel room for the night.

I am glad the day of slippery surgical stress is behind me and the recovery process is now underway.  I anticipate Ron being released to come home Tuesday or Wednesday and then life should begin to return to a normal routine.

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