Tag Archives: enlightening

I May Be Sinking

I had such big plans, a long list of things to accomplish around the house and in the yard.  Things to organize, things to sell, things to clean.  I had deadlines that have passed.   I do have things crossed off, but the list is long and never ending.

Now I look at my list, at my yard, my house, stacks of paperwork to do, cupboards, drawers, closets and rooms to clean out and organize, things to sell or donate, and find myself frustrated at what I have not yet accomplished.   I want it over and done, neat and organized, manageable without me feeling overwhelmed.    I feel like I’m sinking in a mucky hole and I can’t make the climb back out.  overwhelmes

Now don’t get me wrong, small accomplishments give me great pleasure.  Unfortunately I frequently get a project partially done then get swung in another direction and don’t quite complete the task, so it is there dangling like a carrot in front of a horse, and I can’t quite reach it.    Part of the problem is I am feeling overstretched with what I need to accomplish, but what do I give up?  What do I let slide?  What am I overlooking or letting slide that I shouldn’t?  What if I’m doing it wrong?

The idea of letting things slide and not get completed does not formulate well in my brain.  I want balance, harmony, peace.   My life is out of sink.  I need downtime to relax and rejuvenate, but don’t feel like I should do that when I have other things to get done.  I need to get things organized in my life to bring it balance.   At the same time on those occasions when I “screw off” and get away from the house, even for a few hours, I feel Priorities - schedule themrejuvenated again.   It is a battle of the brain, which way to go.

Then I wonder, how did  I do things before?  Why is it a few years ago I could find time to scrapbook, write, read, attend festivals and events, go out for the day shooting photos, go places, do things.   Why am I not fitting those things into my life on a regular, weekly basis now like I did then?   Is my failure to go out and do those things causing me to falter in the other areas?   But if I spend time out doing things, then I’ll never get things done here.

Self-analysis can be enlightening and frustrating, it can help one reach a resolution to an issue or it can make one feel they will never accomplish their goals.   In my case, I’m still sinking in that muck.  If I want to get out I have to figure out how to balance my life.  I have to push myself harder to get things done.  I have to make a point of doing things I enjoy such as going to places where I can take pictures, attending events, or something so simple as sitting on my front porch and reading a book for an hour.  I haven’t even visited my favorite spots in probably close to a year.  I used to visit them all the time.  Balance - harmony and life

I have to get the balance back into my life.    Balance brings harmony.  Harmony brings the sun and dries up the muck.   Hopefully it is soon!

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Filed under Cleaning, communication, Coping, decisions, Discoveries, environmental, exploration, habit, home, Life Changing, Life is a Melting Pot, memoir, mind, reality

GRANDCHILDREN GIGGLES

Grandchildren have a way of making you giggle.  They have an innocent thought process that is blunt, entertaining, and enlightening all at the same time.  They are energizing and exhausting with non-stop movement and questions.  This past Sunday I had the pleasure of spending the day with two of my grandchildren for thirteen hours, of which the last five hours also included their brother.

Alexandria is 18 months old and constantly on the move.  She doesn’t talk; she grunts and points then nods yes or no.  She doesn’t play with toys.  It is more fun to explore and get into things she shouldn’t.  A cup of water is great for drinking.  However when grandma isn’t looking it is much more fun to pour it out on the kitchen floor and sit beside it, splashing in the mini inside puddle that has been created.

Why would brother want the track to his train to remain put together?  Does he really need all the parts of the train?  Apparently not, at least as far as Alexandria is concerned.  Gee Grandma, all the stuff you had in that box you expected to stay there?  I thought it would look much better dumped out all over the floor.

Hey, you know that neat round end table that holds your lamp?  Did you know I fit inside and it can hide me too?  Yep, doesn’t bother me a bit to climb inside and close the door.  Oh by the way, just because I sit in my high chair and put the tray over myself doesn’t mean I am hungry.  It just means I want to watch you prepare my food and give it to me so I can take two bites and be done.  You thought it meant more?

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Alexandria climbed into her high chair and put the top over her lap. Photo by Grace Grogan. Copyright 2016.

Now Corbin, who is five is a bit more independent and forthcoming with what he wants and needs.  And for heaven sake, don’t forget to lock the bathroom door or you may have company.  When the door burst open I told him I was going potty and he isn’t supposed to enter.  “But I needed to tell you something.”

Corbin likes playing a food game on the pad and showing me what he has made.

Me:  “You made yourself a hamburger?”

Corbn:  “No, I made it for a human”

Me:  “You’re a human”

Corbin:  “No, I’m just a kid.  I’m not big enough to be a human.  I’m just a little kid.”

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Alexandria climbed into her high chair and put the top over her lap. Photo by Grace Grogan. Copyright 2016.

Then he looks at my wall in the TV Room.  “Hey, where did the picture of the train go?”

Me:  ” It is on the wall by the front door”

Corbin:  “Why isn’t it on that wall?”

Me:  “I moved things around so I would have something different to look at.”

Corbin then runs to the front to make sure I haven’t lied about the location of the train photograph.  Then returns.

Corbin:  “No.  The train needs to be on that wall so I can see it.”  He can see it where I moved it to, he just can’t see it continuously when sitting on the couch, and Corbin loves trains.

And so went my day.  Then around 5:30 pm Austin, who is 10, was dropped off at my house.  As long as both pads were working and I kept the TV on a kids movie things were relatively quiet.  However they are brothers.  Peace can only last so long, especially when the younger one is a tease.   I did manage to keep the war zone at a fairly peaceful level for the next five hours, thanks to battery chargers.

As the day moved into evening Corbin looked at me and said “I think my mother forgot to come home.”  I assured him she had not forgotten.  It was just taking her longer than she thought.  When my daughter called to give me an update on her progress in getting back to pick the kids up I put Corbin on the phone so she could tell him she would be there soon.  Corbin’s response “okay, but I’m playing a game on the pad” and he handed the phone back to me.  So much for concern!

Then it gets dark.  Austin used to stay overnight with us all the time, but Corbin has never gone somewhere and spent the night without his mother and/or brother with him.    Not long before my daughter arrived to pick the kids up Corbin looked at me.  “I’m ready to go home now, Its dark and I don’t like to sleep other places.”

My daughter arrived to pick them up at 10:30 pm.  It was a fun day.  It was an exhausting day.  After they left I sat down in the chair for what I intended to be a 10 minute rest and woke up at 11:40 and went to bed.

When I think back over my day there is a song lyric playing in my mind:   The Mr. Mom song, remember it?  “Pampers melt in a Maytag dryer, crayons go up one drawer higher, rewind Barney for the 16th time, breakfast six, naps at nine.  There’s bubble gum in the baby’s hair, sweet potatoes in the lazy chair…been busy all week long, and it’s only Monday Mr. Mom.”

Exhausting as it was, I will always do it again, if for nothing more than the fun of grandchildren giggles.

 

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Filed under children, Family, grandchildren, home, kids, Life is a Melting Pot, memoir, play