Tag Archives: escape

As Long As My Purse Doesn’t Fall In The Toilet, I’ll Manage

For the past few years I have noticed the stalls in bathrooms seem to have shrunk. I remember years ago walking into the stall, closing the door and using the facilities without a problem. You could even take a small child into a normal sized stall with you if needed. Not anymore.

Now when you enter the stall the first maneuver (unless you are super skinny and can squeeze between the side of the toilet and side of the stall) is to spread your legs and straddle the toilet while grasping any belongings with one hand so you can swing the door shut, the edge of it barely clearing your body.

You can now step to the front of the toilet and hang your possessions on the door.  Once done you must repeat the process.  Retrieve your belongings from the door, back up and once again straddle the toilet while reaching to unlatch and pull the stall door open.  If you have removed a coat you have to decide whether to put that back on in cramped quarters or risk dropping it, as well as your purse, into the toilet as you maneuver to make your escape.  why-are-bathroom-stalls-designed-like-this-twitter

The fact is Americans have increased in size  over the past few decades, but the stalls have shrunk considerably.  This was something I kept pondering over and then it occurred to me, the doors used to swing out on the stall.  An outward swinging door gave you more room to enter and exit.  The disadvantage of that was if the latch failed the door flew open and there you were, trying desperately to reach the door and pull it shut while you finished.  If you didn’t grab fast enough you were on display.

Somewhere along the line the faulty-latch display problem was resolved by having the stall doors swing in.  Now if the door latch fails you just give it a small push to close it. Why those in control never thought to increase the depth of the stall by a foot to allow room for the door to swing makes one wonder.   The price we pay to have our privacy maintained is the requirement that you maintain balance while holding your possessions and straddle a toilet with your stomach sucked in tight to allow clearance for the door to pass by.    As long as my purse doesn’t fall in the toilet, I’ll manage.

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Filed under assumptions, Coping, decisions, Life is a Melting Pot, reality, Uncategorized

Treat Time Properly

If you have been a reader for a while you know that I like quotes and sometimes use them as inspiration for my writing.  I stumbled upon the quote Self-help and in reading realized how well it fits me.  Self Help

How to stop time:  kiss.  This one shouldn’t need an explanation.  Lets just put it bluntly, kissing is a huge turn-on.  It can make time stand still or make it spin.  It is relaxing, comforting, exhilarating, exciting, enticing, enjoyable.  One of the best feel-good things there is.  Enjoy!

How to travel in time:  read.  Reading is a wonderful way to escape from the world.  Pick a subject, dive into a book and loose yourself as you travel to another world.  By selection of topic you can go anywhere, into the past, into the future, travel in outer space, get lost solving a crime or be entranced by romance.  The world is yours and the choice is yours on where in time you travel.  Pick a destination and explore.

How to escape time:  music.  Music has the ability to make you feel good and get the body moving.  It is energizing and relaxing, happy, and sad.  It can wake you up; it can put you to sleep.  It can create elicit memories of the past or help you dream of possibilities for the future.   There are no rules.  All you have to do is feel…enjoy the beat, sway to the rhythm, let the mind wander, escape reality, let the music flow as you escape in time.

How to feel time:  write.  I think this one is mis-labeled.  I don’t feel time when I write so much as I lose time, or rather loose track of time.   Anyone who is a writer, who truly enjoys writing, knows the feeling of becoming absorbed in their writing and not wanting to stop until all those thoughts that are in their brain course down through their arms, into their fingertips and onto paper.  Those thoughts must be put down and preserved.   If you want to lose time, write.

How to release time:  breathe.   How true this is, and how very important it is to understand.  You release time when you breathe.   When you breathe you release stress, refocus, re-energize, maintain balance.   You let time fade away and you regain your life.  To have a balanced, enjoyable life you have to allow yourself to breath and release time.

The answer to self-help is time.  Time to enjoy all the aspects of life.  Time to escape all the stress of life.  Time to be whatever you want to be.  Read something that exhilarates the mind.  Kiss with tenderness; kiss with passion.  Grab someone and sway to the music.  Breathe.  Relax. Enjoy.  Then put all those memories on paper.

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Filed under communication, Coping, decisions, Discoveries, exploration, Life is a Melting Pot, mind, reality, Writing

Chicken Coop Captive

Bundled up in insulated overalls and a winter jacket, Lucinda lifts the gallon size bucket.  The water sloshes back and forth as she trudges across the yard, head bent down against the bitter cold and wind.  The walls of the chicken coop provide little refuge from the cold as she pours water into containers for the chickens.

WHAMP!  The entire building shakes as the door to the coop slams shut, dropping the latch closed in the process.  Lucinda tries to open the door and realizes she is trapped.  Chicken coop doors latch from the outside, not the inside.

Lucinda peers out the window toward her house.  Andrew is inside watching the football game on TV.  Surely he will realize she is gone longer than usual and come looking for her….or will he?  It is a good game and he isn’t likely to leave his chair until it is over.  This could be a long wait, the game isn’t due to end for over an hour.  Chicken - Crazy Chicken Lady

Thankful she had at least put on warm clothes, Lucinda contemplates her options as a captive in a chicken coop.  There is the small hatch door that the chickens go in and out.  Maybe she could slip out of the coop that way.  It could be kind of tricky.  Should she go feet first or head first?  Slide out on her stomach or on her back?  So many decisions when planning an escape.

Of course the size of the hatch could prove a challenge.  What if she gets partway out and gets stuck?    How long would she have to remain there, wedged half in/half out of the coop before Andrew discovered her?  Would the two of them be able to free her?  Would they have to call and wait for a rescue team?

If a rescue team has to be called, would the local news pick it up on a scanner and arrive to capture the live story of the chicken coop captive.  Good grief, would she ever live such a news story down?  The stupidity of the human race is always great for human interest articles.  Maybe the hatch escape idea isn’t such a great one after all.  Maybe some good solid female bonding with a brood of chickens is the better option.

WHAMP!  A blast of arctic air somehow managed to dislodge the latch and blew the door back open.  FREEDOM!  Lucinda decided to make a break for it.  After all, the opportunity might be short lived.  The chickens were  quite hospitable during her short visit, but the idea of an extended stay was not on her list of things to do on a Sunday afternoon.

Closing the door firmly behind her as she enters the warmth of their home,  Lucinda looks at her husband, still relaxing in front of the TV.  Didn’t he realize she had been gone longer than normal?  How long would he have waited before coming to check on her?

Andrew contemplated Lucinda ‘s experience as a chicken coop captive before he responded “Oh, I would of figured out something was wrong when the chicken (for dinner) was done and you were not back inside.”

Chicken Coop - Miss Him Sometimes.Typical man, the brain goes to food and a growling stomach would have finally keyed him into the fact that his wife was missing in action.  Better not go out to tend the chickens immediately after consuming a meal, the wait for a rescue could take hours!

Safety Tips for Chicken Coop Care:
1.  Wear insulated outer wear to protect yourself from the elements.
2.  Carry a cell phone to call for assistance as needed.
3.  Go at a time when your husband may become hungry and realize you are missing.
4.  Make sure you tell your friends and family about any mishaps so they can later share your story with others.

This is based on a true story, names of the couple have been changed to protect their privacy. 

 

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Filed under backyard, birds, Family, farm