Tag Archives: opinion

Planning Flexibility

We all plan out our lives, whether it is the routine we use at work, getting the kids to bed and then up again for school, or what we will do on vacation, we all have a plan.  What happens when that plan doesn’t work, or something happens that means those plans need to be changed?  Do you get stressed or just “go with the flow?”

There are times when no matter how well you have activities planned, something will happen that throws a wrench into the pot — it can be job loss, car problems, an accident, a fire, natural disaster, or someone made a mistake.Blessed-are-the-flexible-for-they-will-not-be-bent-out-of-shape_

In dealing with problems I have noticed there are those who get stressed, angered, frustrated, and do not cope well.  There are others that may feel frustrated but seem to be more flexible, adapt where necessary, and continue on without experiencing much stress.

Why is it people are so diverse on how they cope with problems that arise in their life?  Is it learned from when they were children observing their parents?  Is it their natural personality?  Is it something that happened in their lifetime that impacted their manner of handling stress?

In my opinion, it is all of these combined together to create a personality and coping ability that is unique to each person.   A person’s everyday lifestyle, economic level, personal experiences, and childhood combine together and impact how each person will handle different challenges as they occur.  The same challenge may be handled with ease by one person, but create immense stress in another.  There is no right or wrong, it simply is.

A person who has always lived a financially strong life will likely find it difficult to handle a sudden loss of income that leaves them unable to purchase everything they need, much less want but don’t need.  A person who grew up in a low income family or has spent the majority of their adult life with financial struggles would also find loss of income difficult, but they are more prepared mentally and emotionally to handle dealing with meager funds.

Someone who grew up in an environment where every minor problem was over-exaggerated into a major catastrophe will likely not have the coping mechanisms of someone who grew up in an “accidents will happen” and “life goes on” mindset.  The first would teach you to always be on edge and the person will likely “fly off the handle” at bumps in the road, while the second is more likely roll with whatever life throws at them.     While there is not a right or wrong personality, it is likely that the person with better coping mechanisms will have a less stressful life. 

What about someone who has encountered war, been in a horrible accident, experienced death of a loved one, or been assaulted?  There are uncountable incidents that could happen to a person which may have a profound effect on their way of thinking, what they fear, what angers them and how they react to various events.  Those lifetime encounters impact their way of thinking, how they plan their life and how flexible they are.

Whatever your personality type and how well you cope with upsets to your daily or lifetime plans, keep in mind that the more flexible you are, the happier you will likely be. Stress is normal in life, and there will be times when the best laid plans are disrupted.  Allowing those disruptions to create undue stress can make you more irritable and does nothing to resolve the problem.  Stay calm, focus on the solution, and make adjustments where needed.  Remember, flexibility does not always, but can, result in something better than you originally planned.

 

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Filed under Coping, decisions, habit, Life Changing, Life is a Melting Pot, mind, parents

If Unsigned It Lacks Value

I received a typed note in the mail this week, no return address, no signature.  What does this tell me?  That the person does not wholeheartedly believe what they say.  They want to give their opinion, but lack the strength to put their name on it.  They are weak and so must lash out in anger.

The letter, which I have attached hereto as a photo, refers to a column I wrote about the Port Huron Float Down back in August, so it took the writer this long to actually get up the guts to mail it.  Since that Float down post I have have written two other columns, one about St. Clair, but that evades this person’s knowledge.  Why?  Because they aren’t paying attention, they are simply lashing out.  lettr-people-speaking-the-truth

For those of you who may not know, I am an opinion columnist.  I give my opinion on whatever subject I choose.  I do not write editorials, I am not a journalist.  The person I criticized in my opinion column posted a Facebook post on his own page that was at least three paragraphs long.

I normally don’t respond to comments about my column, but people were criticizing me as not being a professional journalist – and I’m not.  They accused me of calling that person names, such as idiot, which I had not….other people had in their posts.  The column I wrote had over 837 shares on Facebook alone, so it pretty good circulation and a lot of comments supportive to my opinion, negative on the other person, who happens to be a public figure/city mayor.

Even at that I would not have even known about the post if it were not for the fact that  people, including the mayor’s wife, tagged me in their comments.   I did respond, pointing out that I am not a journalist or editorialist, I am an opinion columnist.  I gave them the link to the article where the mayor had been interviewed, and pointed out that my opinion column specifically referenced the other article.  It is those facts that this writer is so angry about.  They are so angry they have not been able to move past it.

So the letter has given me a good laugh.  Why?  Because I have moved on from that column and post.  This person has not.  I enjoy writing about controversial subjects because it gets people thinking, creates an interchange of opinions, it engages the mind.  That column achieved my goal.  The Mayor’s Facebook page had comments going on it for an entire day about the subject, and now several weeks later the writer of this letter has their mind still tied up in it, whereas I have moved on.

I do feel sorry for the writer of the letter though, because they lack the confidence and self-worth to put enough value on their own opinion to sign their name, yet they continue to stew in their anger.  That means my column achieved its ultimate goal.  The subject matter has stayed in the mind of at least one person and has them thinking about it.

As for me, I’m contemplating what the next item of interest will be.  I do love getting peoples minds thinking.

letter-unsigned-september-2016023

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Filed under assumptions, Blue Water Area, communication, decisions, events, impressions, Life is a Melting Pot, reality