Today (September 23, 2016) was my 56th Birthday. It occurred to me the other day that as of this birthday I am no longer just in my mid-50’s, I am now pushing 60. Isn’t it funny how the mind perceives certain things and twists them in your brain. Seriously, am I now at 56 different than I was at 55? I tend to say that I refuse to get old, and that age is a matter of staying active and thinking young, so why does the number give me a negative feeling?
Maybe it is because I became a widow at age 55. I never expected that to happen. My husband was only 64 when he passed. I didn’t expect to become a widow until I was in my 80’s, yet here I am in the situation about 30 years earlier than anticipated.
I recently found my first gray hair. I thought I had something stuck in my hair and tried to pull it out, only to discover it was attached! Then I saw two more on the other side of my face. I thought about pulling all of them out, but then realized if I did that every time I saw a gray hair I would eventually render myself bald. I must accept that I am now going gray, hopefully at a very slow pace.
Perhaps it is because my eyes tend to get dry now. I am frequently switching out of my contacts and into glasses because my eyes become dry and irritated. I had always assumed I would continue wearing my contacts 18 hours a day well into my 70s or 80s. Obviously that is not going according to plan, to the extent that I am contemplating getting a second set of glasses rather than contacts the next time around.
It could be that my obstructed mobility due to needing an ankle fusion is making me feel ancient. I do have the ankle fusion scheduled in November and hopefully will have a quick and easy recovery followed by better mobility.
Because of the painful condition of my ankle I have not accomplished as much as I had hoped since my husband’s passing. The ankle simply can’t handle the extended time to do yard work, cleaning the basement and miscellaneous other activities that require me to be on my feet.
So, now that I am over the hill and rolling down it toward 60 I need to keep a positive focus and concentrate on fully utilizing the young gene. My hair can turn gray…there are people that purposely put grey in their hair for accent. I can gradually switch over to glasses if needed, after all young people wear fun and trendy glasses all the time. I will regain mobility after my ankle fusion and should be back to normal by late next spring. Most importantly, I refuse to grow old. Old is a state of mind, and my mind is not going there.