When you live with constant turmoil you become accustomed to living as if on a constant roller coaster ride. The twists and turns of upheaval in your life create emotional stress, and yet you constantly adjust, cope, and keep on moving forward. This becomes so normal you do not even realize how much stress you are constantly under.
That has been my life for the past few years. The loss of my grandchildren to foster care and then a battle with CPS when we tried to adopt which resulted in them being lost to adoption by strangers. My son serving six years in prison for home invasion, dealing with the constant dangers that environments holds. My mother, father, father-in-law, and then my husband battling cancer and passing away, all within a three year period. My son being released from prison and paroled to my home; something I had originally looked forward to but which became a very stressful situation.
Following my husband’s death I made a determination that I needed to downsize out of my home and into something smaller. In the midst of planning for that made a decision to instead downsize into an RV and travel full-time. During this process I informed both of my adult children that I was no longer going to be able to subsidize them financially, something my husband had always done while he was alive. This resulted in more stress, but over time success was achieved. They are both now living financially on their own.
I am finally at a point where success is on the horizon. My new lifestyle begins on Monday. I closed on my house today. Friday is my last day of work. My daughter moved her family north and is now residing near her fiance’s parents, a situation that is serving well. Both Caroline and Rob are working at new jobs and my three grandchildren are enjoying life in a more country setting close to their other grandparents.
My son, now out of prison for 1-1/2 years, has obtained his CDL and is working in a position driving semi. He and his ex-wife have reconciled and are residing in a home they rent near his workplace. I am at peace that I do not have to worry about him being cold, undernourished, injured or killed in prison. I wish him success.
For the first time in years my mind is at peace. My children are both living on their own without my financial assistance, and I am going into semi-retirement. I will be residing full-time in a motor home, traveling the United States and Canada and doing part-time remote or seasonal work.
For the first time in years I can sleep without my mind churning over the problems, worries, and stress that plagued me for so long. I hope nothing happens to upset the apple cart. A mind at peace is a wonderful thing.
Filed under Adoption, assumptions, cancer, Coping, CPS, death, decisions, employment, events, exploration, Family, Foster Care, grandchildren, home, kids, Life Changing, Life is a Melting Pot, memoir, parents, reality, time, travel, work
Anyone who has raised a boy can relate to the Dirt on My Shirt poem that I stumbled across recently. When I saw it memories of my son and my grandsons came to mind. It is like they are immune to the idea of cleanliness. If it looks like fun, dig right in.
I have very rarely seen my grandson, Corbin, with a clean face. I think it is magnetic and attracts dirt, all he has to do is walk across a room and it zeros in on him. Thinking back to when my son was growing up, there were all kinds of messes and things going on that bring to life the saying “boys will be boys.”
Here are some of my “boys will be boys” memories….
- Walking into my backyard and Patrick and his friend had dug a huge hole in the ground. Why? Just for fun!
- Patrick telling me about taking a boat down the canal using a battery-operated fan for a motor. I thought he was kidding until I was at a meeting and a mother who lived on the canal commented on these boys running a boat down the canal using a fan for a motor…she thought it was pretty ingenious!
- My grandson, Corbin, telling me he didn’t have to wash his hands as he flipped them back and forth saying “see they are clean” and “I’ll wash them on Thursday.”
- Socks that are filthy because why bother putting on shoes, you’re only going into the yard.
- Cleaning out pockets filled with stones, grass, dirt, and miscellaneous other items.
- At 2-1/2 to 3 years Patrick had a 2-foot ramp he would use to jump his 2-wheeler. My mother-in-law, who had raised three boys, didn’t give it a thought. My parents, who had raised two girls almost had heart failure when they saw him do the jump at 2-1/2 years.
- My grandson, Austin at 2-3 years old running onto a water park and standing in the running sprinklers fully clothed in shoes, turtle neck top and overalls.
- Creek findings in my garage: craw-fish, baby muskrat, fish, snails, snakes, turtles (Patrick, now 30-years old, has a large turtle in a tank in my garage right now) all brought home and kept in fish tanks in my garage.
- Having all the screws in my dining room chairs removed by Patrick’s bare hands.
- My grandson, Austin sliding ice cubes from his Koolaid around on the table; when asked what he was doing he said “washing the table.”
- Hearing a crash and discovering my 2 year old son on top of my refrigerator.
- Greasy/dirty clothes from fixing things…snow blowers, lawn mowers, anything that doesn’t work.
The list could go on forever, and thinking back on those memories makes me smile. After all, I can still look at Patrick, now 30 years old, and he will have dirt on his shirt, dirt on his hands, and dirt on his face due to something he has been working on. Oh, and he still leaves dirt on the refrigerator handle when grabbing something to drink.
Share with me your
“Boys Will Be Boys” memories
Filed under Activities, backyard, children, Cleaning, Discoveries, Family, grandchildren, home, kids, Life is a Melting Pot, memoir, nature, reality, spring, summer