When you live with constant turmoil you become accustomed to living as if on a constant roller coaster ride. The twists and turns of upheaval in your life create emotional stress, and yet you constantly adjust, cope, and keep on moving forward. This becomes so normal you do not even realize how much stress you are constantly under.
That has been my life for the past few years. The loss of my grandchildren to foster care and then a battle with CPS when we tried to adopt which resulted in them being lost to adoption by strangers. My son serving six years in prison for home invasion, dealing with the constant dangers that environments holds. My mother, father, father-in-law, and then my husband battling cancer and passing away, all within a three year period. My son being released from prison and paroled to my home; something I had originally looked forward to but which became a very stressful situation.
Following my husband’s death I made a determination that I needed to downsize out of my home and into something smaller. In the midst of planning for that made a decision to instead downsize into an RV and travel full-time. During this process I informed both of my adult children that I was no longer going to be able to subsidize them financially, something my husband had always done while he was alive. This resulted in more stress, but over time success was achieved. They are both now living financially on their own.
I am finally at a point where success is on the horizon. My new lifestyle begins on Monday. I closed on my house today. Friday is my last day of work. My daughter moved her family north and is now residing near her fiance’s parents, a situation that is serving well. Both Caroline and Rob are working at new jobs and my three grandchildren are enjoying life in a more country setting close to their other grandparents.
My son, now out of prison for 1-1/2 years, has obtained his CDL and is working in a position driving semi. He and his ex-wife have reconciled and are residing in a home they rent near his workplace. I am at peace that I do not have to worry about him being cold, undernourished, injured or killed in prison. I wish him success.
For the first time in years my mind is at peace. My children are both living on their own without my financial assistance, and I am going into semi-retirement. I will be residing full-time in a motor home, traveling the United States and Canada and doing part-time remote or seasonal work.
For the first time in years I can sleep without my mind churning over the problems, worries, and stress that plagued me for so long. I hope nothing happens to upset the apple cart. A mind at peace is a wonderful thing.